Nothing left to bolster my spirits but sheer will alone. I have the undesirable ability to shut down emotions. I try not to flip that switch, because it can’t be turned back on. I will take so much punishment before I do it, because if there’s any chance, any tiny .000001% of a chance that it will get better, I want to hang on. I’m tenacious. I don’t know how to give up. I refuse to believe I can’t fix things no matter how bad they get. But I’m learning that I can’t fix people. I can’t make someone feel things, or make them want to provide what I need. They either will, or they won’t. People are drawn to me. Men especially. But I’ve only met two people in my life who just did not like me, and that was okay, because I found them despicable anyway. They were not good people. They were not kind people, or even honest people. If a person has redeeming qualities, or is trying to become better, I respect that, and I give them credit for it. After my childhood, I didn’t speak to my. Love from myside. -AadinaTalking ParrotHenrietta sat on the floor beside the lampshade hugging her knees, hertears streaming down her cheeks. Her opening still sore from the sexabout fifteen minutes ago. She couldn't believe how much Aaron made herhate sex. Even though he was lanky and could barely hold his groundagainst others at his consumer goods workplace, he turned into a berserkinsensitive beast in bed, emptying into her within what felt like aminute. Worse than the fact that he liked to fuck her dry was his rulethat she should act dumb and ditzy during foreplay and intercourse. Oh,how she fumed. Although no one else would ever know, she could barely getherself to do it. She was a physicist dammit, a woman of intellect! Andyet, the husband always gets his way, she thought dismally. Shecontemplated divorce for the thousandth time but knew she could neverface her parents after "legally abstaining from marital ties." She knewdeep down that she would never risk burning the bridges.
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